Dinner Group

A few friends and I have started having Sunday dinner together on occassion. It's such a fascinating dynamic that is created by all of us coming together over food. I would never have imagined some of the conversations we would share with eachother or some of the enlightening experiences we would have. We're getting to know more about one another than we ever expected! This is our first dinner at Emily's house in Kaysville. She wanted me to present a raw food meal and have everyone participate in preparing it. So, I came up with a menu and put everyone to work.......

I knew Keva could shred carrots at the speed of light and do it with a smile, so that job was all hers.

Dainon peeled the jicama.....

Chris was in charge of blending stuff......

Tania's job was to figure out what this was....I don't think she ever did.

Emiliy mostly just did this.......

D'Ogee wanted to help, too, but he wasn't tall enough to be of much use.

The menu consisted of raw carrot soup, raw noodles with alfredo sauce and for dessert raw chocolate cheesecake. Can you believe all of that can be made raw?

Dainon and Chris were really excited about my food. Chris said he loved it "this much". Dainon was giving me a high five. He'd never tasted anything so good. I'm flattered, really....

After all of that work, voil'a....mushrooms and scallions!

It was a raw meal to remember, that's for sure, and so enjoyable that a couple of weeks later, Tanya invited all of us to her house for some delicious curry. We had a new addition to our group that evening. Her friend Lisa joined us, and much to our satisfaction shared with us her talents of dream interpretation, balancing shakras and reading our energies. We each took our turn stepping into a back room with her and receiving a very enlightening and surprisingly accurate reading of ourselves. I've been meaning to write down what she told me, so here goes, what I remember of it:

1. All of my shakras radiate extremely feminine energy except for my third eye. It's more masculine, and I think that's because of my career and my keen business sense...well, kinda.

2. I need to surround myself with more straight men who are connected emotionally. I will need a man who is emotionally in tune.

3. Surprisingly, Dainon and I are a good match emotionally and we need to practice relating with each other.

4. I feel like I can't connect emotionally with men, so I draw men into my life who will challenge me in that way.

5. My emotions are very powerful with men. I can have my way with them if I learn how to channel that emotional energy.

6. I need to practice letting men lead me.

7. I need to change my perspective on my career as being something I am doing on my own. Instead, see that God is taking care of me...he is my man now, and some day he and my husband will take care of me together.

Interesting, eh? Everyone's readings were so insightful. Lisa really has a gift. We stayed up talking with her until 11:00 and yet the night seemed so young! It was a very bonding evening. I appreciated everyone being willing to be vulnerable and let us dig into their psychies! That's my kind of an evening.

This Sunday Dainon has invited us over for dinner. I'm looking forward to seeing what craziness transpires this week!

Under The Bed

My dog is snoring. It makes me laugh. He won't come out from under the bed. He eats the remains of the cat's food and then drags the can under the bed where he licks it clean and stashes it in his collection. He has quite the collection. Even though the cans are empty, he defends them from anyone trying to clean under the bed. There's a few other things under there, too...chewy treats like raw hide bones, greenies for his teeth, carrot tops and his stuffed turkey. Sometimes when I peak under the bed, I find a pile of shredded toilet paper that he's pulled from the garbage can. Why does he like to shred paper? I feel kind of sorry for the poor little guy when I reach the vaccum hose under the bed and suck up his coveted treasures. I'm violating his personal space, I know. He'll get over it. It's my bed, too.

Yesterday we went to an acupuncturist. Puppy's back has been hurting. I can tell because he hesitates when he jumps onto things. He used to jump on to my bed, but now he perches his front feet on the bed frame and asks me to lift him up. The acupuncturist stuck six needles in his back and massaged the muscles along his spine. He almost got bit when he hit a sore spot, but the old man's reflexes kicked in and he jumped out of the way just in time.
In his broken english, the chinese doctor told me how his friend's dog died and the whole family cried and cried. He thought it was funny that a family would get that attached to a dog. I told him I would cry, too. D'Ogee is my baby. "You don't have children?" he asked.
"No." I replied.
"How old are you?"
"Thirty-four."
"Why you don't have children?"
"I'm not married."
"What? You very pretty. Why you don't have husband?"
That's my cue to give my cutest giggle and make an excuse to leave. First, he informed me that women who have their first baby after thirty five are at risk of having a child with DNA problems. At least, I think that's what he said. He had a pretty thick accent.
Super, I thought, I don't think I'll be having a child before I'm 35. That would mean I'd have to get pregnant by April. I don't want to think about it.
I paid the good doctor $65 and took my puppy home to practice jumping on my bed.

Bad Dreams

My dreams have been disturbing me lately. For months now, there's been a reoccuring theme in the majority of my dreams. I lean towards the idea that dreams are often oppressive thoughts, emotions or desires that are stored in the subconscious. I'm quite sure I know which emotions my dreams are alluding to; I'm just not sure how to resolve the problem in my waking life and free myself of the fears I am obviously carrying around with me.

I'm wandering around in a mass of people. Many of them I know from my past and sometimes the present, yet I feel isolated from them and alone. I'm surrounded by chaos. Everyone else is busy running around, doing what they're supposed to be doing, and I am just observing because I don't know what else to do. I feel like I should know what to do, but I feel dumb because I don't and nobody will take the time to tell me. Sometimes I'm back in high school or college, approaching the end of the semester and suddenly realizing that I've skipped almost all of my classes and I have no idea what I was supposed to be learning. Soon I will be tested and I'm kicking myself for not attending class and studying. I feel an urgency to try to catch up.
Often I will see my best friend from high school, Julie Barton, and then I feel a sense of comfort because I know she is still my friend. All of the feelings I had in high school return; my insecurities, my fears of saying the wrong things, not fitting in, boys not liking me, etc., but Julie is the one friend I had who I felt completely accepted by and comfortable with, and I continue to feel that in my dreams.
I'll often dream of people rejecting me, verbally expressing their dislike for me or just ignoring me. When I started having these dreams, I would awake feeling so rejected and insecure socially, but then I would recall my waking life and realize I have a lot of friends who really like me. I can't really think of anyone who I feel insecure around.
Why am I having these dreams then? My guess is these are insecurities coming up about my dating life. That's the only part of my life I'm aware of that isn't coming together for me. The most significant part about the dreams is the emotions that I wake up with. It disturbs me to feel such insecurities. I thought I had worked through all of that, but apparantly there is more to uncover. Grrr...... If anyone has any ideas on overcoming deeply hidden insecurities that you don't even know you have; feel free to enlighten me.

My 34th Birthday

I threw myself a birthday party this year. It was the first one ever. I'm usually out of town trying to escape the winter blues, and so my birthday doesn't get much attention.
This year I stayed home, and ya know, it actually turned out quite well.

I invited everyone up to my spec home that was just completed in Pleasant Grove. It's a huge million dollar home, and since I probably won't own it very long, I figured I may as well throw a party in it while I've got it.


I'd never made sushi before, but to my surprise, it really wasn't that difficult. Everyone made their own roll. Good thing there were left overs, because I forgot about breakfast the next morning!

See that scarf around my neck? It was made with loving hands by the lovely Heather Roberts.

I really, really really love this kitchen, and for the time being, it's mine....all mine!

Thoughtful Nicole made me a very special gluten free carrot cake. Everyone else had to eat chocolate cake with refined sugar and flour. Poor kids.

I thoroughly enjoyed the sushi party, and to make it even better, the partying didn't stop there. A few of us spent the night on foam mattresses and sleeping bags. For the next two days, we hybernated in the house, only going out to get food when necessary. Sometimes, we didn't even do that. This meal of bananas, edemame, popcorn and salsa kept us going strong for quite a while.

Sunday morning's activities included:

Yoga, or something like unto it,

Breakfast with left over sushi ingredients,

Conversation around the fireplace,

good, wholesome rapping,

and just plain being lazy.....all day long.

The next day we got snowed in and were trapped in a big house with fun friends watching videos, talking, laughing and eating. It was a rough three days, but together we made it through.
These are the troopers; the ones who stuck it out the entire 3 day weekend:







I adore both Emily and my D'Ogee. I'm not sure which one of them makes me happier, so I'm glad I got us all together.

I usually seem to connect with other red-heads. Don't know if it's just because there are so few of us or if there is something in our chemical makeup that draws us to one another, but Tanya is a red-head that speaks to me. Bonding with her this weekend was delightful.

As of this weekend, Matt is back in the picture as a romantic interest. I was hesitant to invite him to my party because we haven't seen each other since September, but in retrospect, I think it was a good move. We've seen each other every possible day since and so far seem to have a mutual interest. Emotions are so fickle, though. They can change at the drop of a hat, as I experienced with my first attempt to date him. Honestly, I'm keeping my guard up this time. Stay tuned for more drama.....

This is Keva saying a prayer over our last meal together: Papa Murphey's Kick-Ass Gourmet Vegetarian pizza. It was worth the stomach ache I received from eating it!

Super Dog!

He's so cooperative, he is...letting me do weird things to him and going along with it so passively. Look at that face. I'm confident he's enjoying this as much as I do. I know he was enjoying this:

It was kind of a surreal weekend. Leaving was like waking up from a good dream and stepping back into reality. It couldn't have been a more perfect way to turn 34, well, unless there was a beach involved, but I'll save that for another birthday.

Pet Psychic

I invited a pet psychic over today to get a reading on my dog. What an interesting experience that was. She sat down in my living room while I held D'Ogee on my lap, and for an hour and a half she relayed his thoughts to me. A lot of it rang true to me. Some of it I questioned, but according to the psychic my dog has a lot to say; the little jabber box. Here's what was on his mind today:

1. One of the first things he said was that he is getting much better food from me than he was with his previous owners. He has some stomach issues, but he feels better with the food I give him. I knew it would make a difference to give him quality food.
2. I'm supposed to give him a tablespoon of plain yogurt everyday to help his tummy.
3. He wants his toenails painted.
4. He's proud of himself for being a good watch dog. I need to tell him thank you when he's barking at people instead of hushing him. Then he'll be quiet. He likes to be acknowledged.
5. He's also proud of himself because he's so funny. He knows he makes me laugh all the time. He doesn't think the cat is very funny, though.
6. He's not jealous of the cat because he knows dogs are better than cats anyway.
7. He's trying to figure out a way to get the cat to play with him, but she isn't about to play.
8. He wants me to get another little dog so he can have a girlfriend that can be his pet.
9. He likes being my baby. He says it's ok to put clothes on him because then everyone says how cute he is. He wants a cowboy outfit. He doesn't want me to have any human babies because he wants to be the baby.
10. He must have seen someone fishing somewhere because he wants to see more of that. He wants to catch a fish. He also wants to bite a squirrel. He'd really like me to get a bowl of little fish and put it on the floor so he can look at it.
11. He worries about my health because he wants me to live a long time. He thinks I need to eat more protein and I need to take something for my stomach problems.
12. He loves the color of my hair. He thinks I'm very pretty.
13. He's worried about me leaving on a big trip somewhere (Costa Rica) because he's afraid of where he'll be left. I'm planning on leaving him with my mom on the farm. The psychic said he really likes my mom, but he's afraid she'll make him stay outside a lot and he's afraid of some big dogs around there. Mom and Dad don't have any other dogs, so I'm not sure what she's talking about. Maybe he's confusing the dogs for the cows!
14. His first owners were an older couple and he misses them sometimes, but he loves living with me and knows this is where he should be. He feels like his job is to help me mentally and emotionally and to protect me.
15. She sees me helping a whole bunch of children; maybe through dog therapy. I think I'll look into that. It sounds very fulfilling.
17. He says I'm a very good mom. He loves me very much.

OK, so with a dog like that, who needs a man? :)

I ran into my friend Johanna tonight at Cocoa Cafe while I was meeting with the Relief Society presidency. She asked me about something she read on my blog and suddenly I became nervous and I felt my face flush. Up until now, the only people who have had access to my blog were 2 of my sisters, or so I thought. I don't know why it embarrassed me so much to think of other people reading my thoughts, but I could hardly concentrate on the meeting. My mind was racing back to what I've written here and hoping I didn't say anything offensive or too vulnerable.
She told me she linked to my blog from Dainon's. Where did he get access to it? Then I remembered that one time, a long time ago, I got on my blog from his lap top for some reason and even though I shut it down before he could read it, it left its mark on his computer where it could easily be retrieved by someone who knew something about blogs.
Of course, the point of a blog is to share with friends and family what's going on in one's life, so I guess I should just accept that nothing is too private when it's posted on-line. I just wish I didn't know if anyone else was reading it or not so I don't censor my thoughts too much. Well, fortunately, I don't have that exciting of a life and my writing is not so compelling, so I don't have much to worry about. But in case anyone other than my sisters does stumble upon this boring, mundane, poorly-written blog that you probably don't want to waste your time reading anyway, just don't tell me about it, k? It'll be your little secret....shhhh......

Bringing in the New Year

I spent New Year's with some amazing people. I found myself sitting back, observing and feeling grateful to be a part of it all. Between a healthy dinner, an energy circle to welcome in the New Year, African dancing and drumming and creating vision boards, I think I've pretty much found the best group of Mormon hippies around!


Me and Dave relaxing by the fireplace.

The brave souls going out for a night hike....I wasn't one of them.

I also wasn't part of the early morning yoga group. Instead, I guiltlessly slept in until 11am.

This is Keva's adorable little brother Kent creating his vision board.

The artists painting their visions for 2008.

OK, even though I hate the cold, I have to admit, this is beautiful.

A candlelight dinner for 21.

Heather crocheting, Nicole napping and me playing with my hair.

John, Crystal and Melanie inspired me to learn to play the African Drums this year.

Emily and Melanie inspired me to wish I was an African dancer, but experience has told me I'm better off observing.

So, that was New Year's 2008. I've been meaning to sit down and create some intentions for this year. Now that my dog has gone to bed, I think it is time.