Family, Life, and Death

Okay, I'm not writing much on this blog nowadays, with my raw food blog and website to write for, and spending all day on the computer for work.  I may not be here very much, but I guess tonight I'm feeling a bit melancholy and am needing an avenue to express thoughts, so here goes.....

The topics on my mind are death....and life...and family.  I'm grateful that I've been able to spend the last month with my family in Idaho...an entire month.  That never would have happened if I had been able to get a job in Salt Lake or if my real estate business was still going well.

Maybe all of those months of feeling down and out were just what I needed to be motivated enough to take a job with my brother-in-law and come to Idaho so I could learn his business.  I couldn't imagine living here that long otherwise. 

But now, I can't imagine having it any other way.  I've felt so blessed to be able to spend so much time with family.  I've lived with Joanna and Tello the majority of the time I've been here, sleeping on their couch in the front room, waking to the sounds of kids rushing off to school and coming home at night to a house of teenagers, cats, dogs and a 3 year old that I've come to adore. 

Working with Tello has been a great experience, not just for the job itself, but for the chance to talk with him and get to know him and to come to appreciate who he is as a person.  The same with Joanna.  We've sat up many nights talking and laughing, which is something we haven't really done before.  It's meant a lot to me to have this time with them. 

There's something strangely....relaxing?...liberating?....about not having a social life and just spending time with family every night.  Some nights I'd go in and watch a movie with Jerry and Chris, and some nights I'd go out to Marlo's house to visit her family.  I've also been able to visit with Granny and Annette a few times.  I haven't even really missed having a social life, although I know I would eventually.  Being social is a lot work...emotionally and physically.  You have to pump yourself up to go out to a party or gathering, try to look cute enough, try to sound smart and interesting,  put a big smile on your face, be friendly and fun, flirt if there are boys around, worry about feeling rejected or not fitting in, and often face disappointment because the evening was pretty anti-climatic. 

With family, there's none of that.  I can lay on the couch and be boring if I want, and no one will wonder what's wrong with that anti-social girl who doesn't have anything to say.

No one talks about dating in my family either, what with everyone being married with kids and all.  It's kind of nice to not have that topic being constantly beaten to death in every conversation.  I start to forget about it after a while. 

This week I'm out in Challis with mom and dad enjoying the beautiful view of the mountains, hiking in the canyon, sitting on the river bed, smiling at the deer in the field, the kittens in the shed, the horses that eat apples from my hand, the bunny that sneaks apples from under the tree, the bluebirds, woodpeckers, grazing cows, etc., etc.  This place is full of wild life and nature.  It is peaceful and heavenly to me.  I eat dinner with mom and dad at night and watch movies with them before bed.  I like this peaceful, comforting feeling of home. 

Over the summer, I got to stay at Jonathan and Jamie's in Salt Lake.  In spite of feeling like a mooch sometimes because I didn't have a job most of the time, I got to know them in a way I never have before either.  Really, I have a great family, and it's been a blessing to have to lean on them over the last little while. 

My great uncle died last week.  He's my grandma's brother and I think there were 12 kids in that family.  I've been thinking about how weird it would be to be grandma and to be watching all of these people slowly passing on....her husband, her siblings, her parents, friends, etc.  One day that age will catch up with me and I'll be saying good-bye to those I love, too.  I wonder if you just get used to it after a while and it doesn't hurt so much. 

I think one of my friend's died yesterday.  Ryan sent me a text that said, "Jake found Will dead in his room yesterday."  That was it.  I've tried calling him, but he's not answering. I'm not sure what to feel yet, because I don't what is happening.  Maybe Ryan's full of it.  Maybe he's talking about a different Will.  I know him as Bill, anyway.  I wish he'd call so I'd know what to feel.

Death is a strange thing.  If Bill is dead, I wonder what he's doing right now.  What is he seeing and feeling and experiencing?  I hope he's happy where he is and feels loved.  Life was hard for him.  Honestly, part of me is jealous of people who die...as long as it's not a painful death.  It would be nice to be out of this life.  It's hard.  I hope I will see him again, though, or at least meet his spirit again...maybe in another life or something.  I wonder if I would recognize him.  I wonder what really happens to us after we die. 

I'll miss you, Bill.  I hope you're not really dead.

Hot Dog!

Let it be known that I am NOT the one who purchased these costumes for D'Ogee...just in case anyone misinterprets me to be a crazy dog woman who's obsessed with dressing her pet up in ridiculous clothing all the time. I take no responsibility for these! It is entirely the fault of D'Ogee's nutty Aunt Joanna who felt compelled to purchase not one, but five silly costumes for him for Christmas. Okay...just because I made him try them all on for the family over Thanksgiving and am forcing him to show them off for friends as well, I'm still not to blame! It's the crazy aunt...I swear! :)
I think he liked this cowboy outfit better than the other one I got him....it does have a little cowboy on the back, after all. It seems to make him feel more authentic.

This royal costume seemed to be his favorite...or at least, the least humiliating.


I'm not so sure he was as thrilled about the pirate costume, although it is more manly than the bumble bee.....sometimes he's a little hard to read.

And other times, he makes a pretty clear statement. I'm guessing by the way he's holding his head down in shame, that he would rather watch the bumble bee costume burn than ever put it on again.



Okay...this is the best one of all....the Hot Dog. I've tried to convince him that he's just wearing a big heavy coat, but I'm not sure he's buying it. He won't move when I put it on him. He becomes as stiff as a board.
It's as if he knows there's a fake condiment on his back that makes him look edible to big dogs and humans. I think it confuses him. Would you know what to do if you were strapped between two puffy cotton buns? Sometimes, you just get caught off guard, ya know?

Hasta La Vista Party

These are some of my favorite faces. Whenever I feel lonely in Costa Rica, I'll be looking back on these pics with a smile. Good, good, friends, I have. Thanks for coming out on a cold night to say adios. See you in three months!

Tanya Ellis....eccentric, stylish and so soft spoken you'd never guess she carries the fiery red-headed character which I like to refer to as power and strength....although some people call it stubbornness....Ha! It's just because they're weaker than we are!

Debrah Howell and her almost fiance, Jonathan. She's my lovely hostess, and dear, sweet, thoughtful, funny, say the most outrageous things without any shame, friend. Thanks, Debs!
Emily Potter appropriately dressed in red...vibrant, sassy, deep, and rich...all the things I love about her. She takes my mind to new places and teaches me something every time I'm with her.

Jen Mosher and Britta Nelson. These are two fascinating women who have some crazy stories to tell! They are writers and achievers and motivators. They inspire me with their strength to overcome.
Gavin...being Gavin. If I want to forget about my worries and just laugh for a while, this is the man. His effects linger for days and keep a smile on my face.
Olivia Daubin...yoga teacher, visiting teaching partner, fellow beach lover and one who radiates calm, peaceful, feminine energy.
Me...crazy girl going to Costa Rica for three months with no money and no income.
Aline, my exotic Brazilian beauty and fearless leader who's heart is as good as gold, and Keva...the best roommate ever and preserver of my house while I'm gone! I'll miss her, and her silly cat, too.
And the lovely Heather Roberts who appreciates this whole raw food/cleansing/health stuff as much as I do. If I could only get her over there with me....

If you are interested friends, in being updated on the Costa Rica adventures, I've created a new blog just for this section of my life: http://lucyincostarica.blogspot.com/
Will begin posting soon!

Deep, deep thoughts....

If you pour coke over raw meat and let it sit, will maggots begin to emerge from the pork? Just how dirty is America's dirtiest meat? The world is dying to know. Watch these videos and learn the cold hard truth!

!

For Posterity's Sake....

You know those time capsule thingies? Ya...those are cool.

In the spirit of capturing a moment in time for posterity, I was thinking it would be interesting to document a few of the circumstances, big or small, that make up our society in the year 2008. Feel free to add to the list if you like...

1. The first black president of the United States of America was elected this year.
2. We saw the price of gas shoot up to an unbelievable $4.50 a gallon, and then drop to under $2.00 all in the same year.
3. One of the biggest issues in domestic politics is gay marriage. Do we legalize it or not?
4. The U.S. has been fighting the war in Iraq for 7...8? years now.
5. The most modern cell phone available is also an I-pod, computer with internet access, GPS system, and camera/video recorder....or was that yesterday? (I don't have one....too complicated)
6. Next year, something is happening to television that will make my "bunny ears" obsolete. What's that called?
7. Obesity is on the rise in American children. People are still eating fake food from McDonalds and Burger King and wondering why they're hineys keep getting larger and why cancer and heart diseases are spreading like wild fire.
8. A head of organic romaine lettuce costs $2.99 at Whole Foods.
9. A head of pesticide treated, cancer causing iceburg lettuce costs $1.29 at Smith's.
10. Real estate values have dropped 15 - 30% in the Salt Lake and Utah valleys over the last year.
11. The sub-prime market is dead.
12. Almost half of the homes listed for sale are foreclosures.
13. The average price for a starter home in the Salt Lake area is in the low $200,000's.
14. A law was passed this year in Utah making animal abuse a felony.
15. Osama bin Ladin is one of the world's most dangerous terrorists.
16. Oil is the dominant source of fuel, but new sources such as natural gas, electricity, and hydrogen are increasing in demand.
17. Interest rates for mortgages average around 6%.

This post isn't finished yet.....If someone would like to update the "pop-culture" faves of the last year or so...I'd be much obliged. Clearly, it's not my area of expertise.

I Think I'll Just Stay In

I have no pictures of Halloween because I didn't go out this year. Strange, because I always dress up and make myself seen on Halloween. It's one of my two favorite holidays...that and Cinco de Mayo. They don't mean anything, so they can't be over rated...just an excuse for a party, that's all.

For some reason, I'm feeling extremely anti-social lately. Maybe it's the cold weather settling in; could be depression...SAD. Maybe it's 'cause I'm leaving soon...Costa Rica for the winter...and am already disconnecting myself; or perhaps my social butterfly is broken and needs some rest.

I ran into one of the guys that I dated this year. He's grown a beard. He says he's been taking a hiatus from dating for a while, so why not be all shaggy? His roommate confirmed that he's been flying solo pretty much since we broke up, which made me feel a little bit better, I admit. On the other hand, he was pretty gung ho about dating when we first met. Was I that bad? :(

Sometimes life feels really blah.

On the upside, I'm getting noticeably better at rock climbing, my dog no longer has bloody diarrhea, my house is clean, bookwork is done, and I get to start Stephanie Meyer's third book in the Twilight series tonight. Good thing I have no place to go. Best be getting started......

Indian Retreat in Spanish Fork

The Hare Krishna temple in Spanish Fork, Utah is like transporting oneself half-way across the globe to India! Instead of spending over $1000 on airfare, however, I spent a whopping $125 for three days of Indian culture in a beautiful authentic temple which felt like being in a land far, far away. My dear friend Emily and I shared this inspiring weekend together, and made some spiritual connections with new faces along the way.

Saturday morning after our yoga session, we took a hike up in the hills near the temple. What is that rope attached to which I am holding in my hand, you ask?


It's a Llama, of course! There are dozens of them roaming around out here. Apparently, they make great pack animals and are frequently rented out to hunters. This is our yoga teacher Alan with his favorite little furry creature.


Cute...kind of, but man, do they stink! I've never smelled anything like it...really. Riding in the van with these two, even though it was only for a few minutes, was torturous! It's kind of a smell between butt and really bad body odor, combined with rotting hay. It makes my dog smell like roses, even on a bad day.


I really bonded with this McCaw, though. At first he wasn't so sure, but by the second day, he was begging to hold onto my fingers. He even let me scratch his head. Scratching a bird feels weird. He's just a prickly stump under all those feathers!



Emily and Alan jamming on the guitar. :)


This is Vie. She and her husband Charu run the temple. She's also an amazing painter in her spare time. She is super devoted to Krishna, which is just the Sanskrit name for God. We got to sit and talk with these devotees about their beliefs, and participate in some of their rituals and practices. It was very educational, and although the stories and traditions are different than Christianity, the principles and concepts are the same. Being open to what they had to offer was very rewarding and faith-building.