Saturday, August 23, 2008

Cleanse day 4 and my encounter with an idiot.

I'm not feeling so great with my cleansing right now. Nausea has been my main symptom which makes me so irritable. I'll be a terrible pregnant woman. The nausea started yesterday. I managed to distract myself from it by getting a sweet massage and going to a funny movie. After the movie, though, I was ready to knock myself out with a hammer so I could just go to sleep and wake up feeling better the next day.

I did wake up feeling better at first...until I had an unfortunate encounter with a half-naked Lebanese guy that put me in a rage all morning. Between that and the nausea returning, I can't say I've felt very spiritual today. In fact, I haven't felt so hot-headed as I did today in a really really long time. It actually kind of felt good to have a legitimate reason to to want to rip someone's eyes out. If I wasn't such a professional, it would have felt even better to chew him out to his ugly face. Thank goodness for good friends who let me vent to them instead! Here's how the story goes:

I had made an appointment to show a condo to a friend of mine this morning. When I called the other agent yesterday, she told me the condo was vacant and where I could find the key to let myself in. So, Rob and I got the key and opened the door only to find someone's junk strung all over. Clearly, it wasn't vacant. Well, that's when the half-naked Lebanese guy walked around the corner. Unfortunately, when I say half-naked, I'm not talking about his upper half. Yep, he was exposed from the waist down. Who sleeps in a t-shirt without anything else on anyway?
Needless to say, it was a very awkward moment. I shut the door and said something like, "I'm sorry! I thought this place was vacant."
He came to the door a minute later (with shorts on) and asked why I was in his house. I explained as best as I could that his agent had said it was vacant and I was just trying to show the place to my client. He asked for my card, which I gave to him. I apologized, and we left. Had it ended there, I wouldn't have wanted to come back and shoot him. I mean, the poor guy...he did have a right to be upset.
What really got to me, though, was that he called me before we even got out of the building, started chewing me out, threatening to take me to court and calling me a stupid idiot. He was such an ignorant schmuck who clearly didn't understand that I was as innocent in this as he was, and it was evident right away that he wasn't about to listen to me explain that the person he should be chewing out was his landlord or his landlord's agent for telling me it was vacant. Well, I could feel my blood boiling by that time, so I just hung up on him.
Now, what really made me start cursing him under my breath was that he literally called me back no less than 25 times in the next hour! I sent his sorry butt straight to voice mail every time, but I was seconds from calling the cops on him for harassing me. He did leave a couple of messages to let me know that he called his landlord who knew nothing about this, and so he thinks that I did this on purpose because....that's where I deleted the message. I wasn't about to listen to some idiot tell me that I purposely came to his house at 10:00 in the morning so I could catch a glimpse of him walking around with his wanker hanging out. Oh, and that I brought a client with me because he wanted to get in on it, too... as if it were all a conspiracy because this was going to be really thrilling for us, and we have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning! Someone needs a good reality check if he thinks seeing him naked would be worth all of that trouble. Idiot! I'm so glad I didn't answer any of his calls. It would have been way too tempting to insult him. Moron.

Did I mention I'm a little irritable today? I think I might eat something tomorrow.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Cleansing

The last time I did a cleanse I was in Costa Rica, which is no wonder why I'm thinking so much about that peaceful place this week. I started another juice/water cleanse two days ago, and I'm surprised at how good I feel already...even in Utah. Costa Rica is a perfect place to cleanse. There's nothing to worry about...no work, no food, no social pressure. Everyone at the retreat is there for the same purpose, and I feel so supported and relaxed. I was nervous to try the same thing in my crazy world of work, friends, parties, etc. I've found, however, that I can cleanse peacefully here as well.

Wednesday was my first liquid only day. The first day or two always seem to be the hardest. That's why I don't do so well on fast Sunday. Symptoms include extreme weakness, nauseau, light-headedness, shakes, inability to focus and irritability. I went to bed early Wednesday night deciding to let myself sleep as long as I needed to the next day. Clearly, my body wanted rest.

Thursday I slept until almost one in the afternoon. I've never allowed myself to do that, even on vacation. There's always a reason to get up earlier. I'm learning, though, that cleansing the body is about more than just fasting. Our bodies repair themselves while we sleep and sometimes our busy lives require a lot more repairing out of our bodies than we allow.

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Snowbird with Nicole and laid by the pool for several hours while she taught yoga. My body didn't want yoga. It wanted to rest. By the time Nic was done with her class, I was feeling awesome. Sometimes it feels so good to not have the energy to worry about anything I normally worry about, and to simply allow my body, mind and spirit the rest it deserves. It's as though my perspective is heightened and all of the distractions I'm weighed down by become insignificant. It's in that space that my spirit comes alive, and I feel extremely aware of my connection to Diety. I can actually feel my spirit tingling inside of my body. It feels like it's been buried under worries, fear, attachment to all of the earthly sensations including food, and now it is finally being uncovered and waking up again.

Fasting for one day never gives me this kind of clarity. It seems to emerge after day 2 or 3. Before I tried it, I thought people were crazy for fasting that long. Now, I understand the appeal. I've never fasted longer than 5 days, though. This time I will do 8. I know I won't always be on a spiritual high throughout it. Sometimes it's hard. I won't lie. But, I do know when I fast like this, my spirit is opening up to unusally divine opportunities to connect with God. It is well worth the challenge. It also makes me extremely intrigued to know what Christ must have experienced having fasted for 40 days. I think one could truly walk with God in that state and feel about as close to heaven as possible while living on earth. Wow..the perspective during that time would be phenomenal. Maybe one day that will be a challenge I will take on, but for now, let's see what the next five days will hold. :)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Few Lessons Learned About Kayaking....

1. No matter how mellow the river seems, it is never a good idea to kayak without a skirt.
2. Wearing a life jacket is always a good idea, too.
3. Kayaks are not made to carry dogs.
4. If you do take a dog in a kayak, make sure he's tied to you, and it's not a bad idea to put him in a lifejacket as well.

The reason for the skirt is because even the smallest waves splash water into the boat. Once your kayak gets a couple of inches of water in it, it is surprisingly harder to keep steady. If you were to try to get out of the river in a place that is running fast without any still water near the edges, and you had a paddle and a nervous dog in one hand and were grasping on to a slick rock with the other while the current was pushing the back of your kayak perpendicular to the flow of the river, you would very easily get off balance if you had water in your boat, and you just might flip over.

If that were to happen, I would suggest first going for the dog. Toss him gently onto the river bank and then swim like mad for your kayak. If you knew you were not going to make it, jump on to the bank and run like the wind to catch up to your kayak. It doesn't matter if you have to run through thorny weeds. Kayaks are expensive, and if it belongs to a friend, you will feel especially bad if you lose it. If you dive back into the river and still can't catch it, count your blessings if someone else goes after it in their kayak. Don't forget about your dog. Go back and find him, more than likely shivering and hiding in the weeds. Snuggle him, find your friends and pray that you get everything back safely. When you do get everything and everyone back safely, breath a sigh of relief, share your stories, and laugh.


Yes, I think that is what I would do.

This is by far the safest way to kayak...just in case you didn't catch all of those important lessons.