Is This Really Happening?

If I had a dollar for every first date I've been on, I'd have a small fortune by now. After seventeen years of dating, you would think I'd at least have had a couple of somewhat serious boyfriends at this point. It's always bewildered me how a nice, beautiful girl like myself has had such bad experiences in dating. I've grown so accustomed to feeling anxiety, frustration and disappointment in that department, to the point that when I started feeling interested in someone lately, I convinced myself it was ridiculous to even hope for anything more than a knife to the heart.

He called me when he got home from Peru last week and came over that night to show me pictures of his trip. We sat on the couch with his laptop swapping travel stories and such. We played the question game - he asks me a question, then I ask him one. The questions got more and more personal, but we were determined to answer them honestly. I love that kind of stuff...digging into someone's psyche and secrets! I especially love when the other person is open and willing, which he was. I was surprised, however, when he shyly asked me what my intention with him was. Isn't that usually my question? I thought to myself.
Yes, and then that's when he's supposed to say, "well, I think you're really hot and I want to get on you, but I don't want to date right now, blah, blah, blah...." That's usually when I tune out and kick myself for actually believing this fool wanted anything more than to mess around.

But, he was asking ME what my intention was with HIM. Furthermore, he's extremely good-looking, outgoing, personable, kind, happy, easy-going, open minded, fun, well traveled, and he likes beaches as much as I do. So, I took a chance and told him the truth. "I want to get to know you better" I said, "and I'd like to date you."

Then I turned the question back on him. I kept waiting for him to admit to some kind of issue that would keep him from being a potential dating partner, but instead he told me he wanted to date me, too. Then he kissed me.

In spite of his sincerity, my insecurities kept haunting me. Surely, he'll change his mind tomorrow. Guys will say anything to get some action, I told myself. Yet, deep down inside, I had this very faint voice telling me he would call and want to see me again. I tried not to believe it, but when he did call - twice the next day, and asked when he got to see me again, I couldn't help but entertain the idea that maybe he actually liked me.

He came up from Orem last night to take me to dinner. It was amazingly comfortable to be with him. He has no problem hugging me, holding my hand, and snuggling with me, even in public. We sat in the corner of a little cafe after dinner, sipping tea and acting giddy like so many couples I used to watch with envy but wanted to gag at. I was one of them, and it felt really good!

Well, I'm still not ready to jump to any conclusions, and if my sisters are reading this, please don't start making wedding plans. I'm taking this one date at a time. So far, so good. It feels like we're on the same page and we're mutually interested in each other at this point. It's nice. I'm happy. My hair smells like his cologne today. It's a very good smell. :)



OK..this is my one stalker gesture. I found his on-line profile and saved this pic of him in Cancun to my computer. :) Cute, eh?