Dinner Group

A few friends and I have started having Sunday dinner together on occassion. It's such a fascinating dynamic that is created by all of us coming together over food. I would never have imagined some of the conversations we would share with eachother or some of the enlightening experiences we would have. We're getting to know more about one another than we ever expected! This is our first dinner at Emily's house in Kaysville. She wanted me to present a raw food meal and have everyone participate in preparing it. So, I came up with a menu and put everyone to work.......

I knew Keva could shred carrots at the speed of light and do it with a smile, so that job was all hers.

Dainon peeled the jicama.....

Chris was in charge of blending stuff......

Tania's job was to figure out what this was....I don't think she ever did.

Emiliy mostly just did this.......

D'Ogee wanted to help, too, but he wasn't tall enough to be of much use.

The menu consisted of raw carrot soup, raw noodles with alfredo sauce and for dessert raw chocolate cheesecake. Can you believe all of that can be made raw?

Dainon and Chris were really excited about my food. Chris said he loved it "this much". Dainon was giving me a high five. He'd never tasted anything so good. I'm flattered, really....

After all of that work, voil'a....mushrooms and scallions!

It was a raw meal to remember, that's for sure, and so enjoyable that a couple of weeks later, Tanya invited all of us to her house for some delicious curry. We had a new addition to our group that evening. Her friend Lisa joined us, and much to our satisfaction shared with us her talents of dream interpretation, balancing shakras and reading our energies. We each took our turn stepping into a back room with her and receiving a very enlightening and surprisingly accurate reading of ourselves. I've been meaning to write down what she told me, so here goes, what I remember of it:

1. All of my shakras radiate extremely feminine energy except for my third eye. It's more masculine, and I think that's because of my career and my keen business sense...well, kinda.

2. I need to surround myself with more straight men who are connected emotionally. I will need a man who is emotionally in tune.

3. Surprisingly, Dainon and I are a good match emotionally and we need to practice relating with each other.

4. I feel like I can't connect emotionally with men, so I draw men into my life who will challenge me in that way.

5. My emotions are very powerful with men. I can have my way with them if I learn how to channel that emotional energy.

6. I need to practice letting men lead me.

7. I need to change my perspective on my career as being something I am doing on my own. Instead, see that God is taking care of me...he is my man now, and some day he and my husband will take care of me together.

Interesting, eh? Everyone's readings were so insightful. Lisa really has a gift. We stayed up talking with her until 11:00 and yet the night seemed so young! It was a very bonding evening. I appreciated everyone being willing to be vulnerable and let us dig into their psychies! That's my kind of an evening.

This Sunday Dainon has invited us over for dinner. I'm looking forward to seeing what craziness transpires this week!

Under The Bed

My dog is snoring. It makes me laugh. He won't come out from under the bed. He eats the remains of the cat's food and then drags the can under the bed where he licks it clean and stashes it in his collection. He has quite the collection. Even though the cans are empty, he defends them from anyone trying to clean under the bed. There's a few other things under there, too...chewy treats like raw hide bones, greenies for his teeth, carrot tops and his stuffed turkey. Sometimes when I peak under the bed, I find a pile of shredded toilet paper that he's pulled from the garbage can. Why does he like to shred paper? I feel kind of sorry for the poor little guy when I reach the vaccum hose under the bed and suck up his coveted treasures. I'm violating his personal space, I know. He'll get over it. It's my bed, too.

Yesterday we went to an acupuncturist. Puppy's back has been hurting. I can tell because he hesitates when he jumps onto things. He used to jump on to my bed, but now he perches his front feet on the bed frame and asks me to lift him up. The acupuncturist stuck six needles in his back and massaged the muscles along his spine. He almost got bit when he hit a sore spot, but the old man's reflexes kicked in and he jumped out of the way just in time.
In his broken english, the chinese doctor told me how his friend's dog died and the whole family cried and cried. He thought it was funny that a family would get that attached to a dog. I told him I would cry, too. D'Ogee is my baby. "You don't have children?" he asked.
"No." I replied.
"How old are you?"
"Thirty-four."
"Why you don't have children?"
"I'm not married."
"What? You very pretty. Why you don't have husband?"
That's my cue to give my cutest giggle and make an excuse to leave. First, he informed me that women who have their first baby after thirty five are at risk of having a child with DNA problems. At least, I think that's what he said. He had a pretty thick accent.
Super, I thought, I don't think I'll be having a child before I'm 35. That would mean I'd have to get pregnant by April. I don't want to think about it.
I paid the good doctor $65 and took my puppy home to practice jumping on my bed.

Bad Dreams

My dreams have been disturbing me lately. For months now, there's been a reoccuring theme in the majority of my dreams. I lean towards the idea that dreams are often oppressive thoughts, emotions or desires that are stored in the subconscious. I'm quite sure I know which emotions my dreams are alluding to; I'm just not sure how to resolve the problem in my waking life and free myself of the fears I am obviously carrying around with me.

I'm wandering around in a mass of people. Many of them I know from my past and sometimes the present, yet I feel isolated from them and alone. I'm surrounded by chaos. Everyone else is busy running around, doing what they're supposed to be doing, and I am just observing because I don't know what else to do. I feel like I should know what to do, but I feel dumb because I don't and nobody will take the time to tell me. Sometimes I'm back in high school or college, approaching the end of the semester and suddenly realizing that I've skipped almost all of my classes and I have no idea what I was supposed to be learning. Soon I will be tested and I'm kicking myself for not attending class and studying. I feel an urgency to try to catch up.
Often I will see my best friend from high school, Julie Barton, and then I feel a sense of comfort because I know she is still my friend. All of the feelings I had in high school return; my insecurities, my fears of saying the wrong things, not fitting in, boys not liking me, etc., but Julie is the one friend I had who I felt completely accepted by and comfortable with, and I continue to feel that in my dreams.
I'll often dream of people rejecting me, verbally expressing their dislike for me or just ignoring me. When I started having these dreams, I would awake feeling so rejected and insecure socially, but then I would recall my waking life and realize I have a lot of friends who really like me. I can't really think of anyone who I feel insecure around.
Why am I having these dreams then? My guess is these are insecurities coming up about my dating life. That's the only part of my life I'm aware of that isn't coming together for me. The most significant part about the dreams is the emotions that I wake up with. It disturbs me to feel such insecurities. I thought I had worked through all of that, but apparantly there is more to uncover. Grrr...... If anyone has any ideas on overcoming deeply hidden insecurities that you don't even know you have; feel free to enlighten me.